What's left unsaid
Good Thursday to everyone. Returned home from a business trip last night to find that it was warmer here than in Atlanta, where I was for two-plus days.
Do you ever think, as I do, about what you would say to people if you encountered them in the right circumstances? And I don't necessarily mean people that we already know, but, rather, strangers that we've had some sort of interaction with.
For instance, I got off my homebound flight last night tired from the day's activities and the cramped conditions of a completely full flight. When I returned to my car in the parking garage, I immediately saw that a car had parked less than six inches from my driver's side door. So, tired as I was, I had to enter my car from the PASSENGER side, climb over the center console and finally put myself into the driver's seat.
What would I say to the offending driver? Here are some of the things that flashed through my mind:
"Are you blind?"
"Could you not see that there was no way for anyone to get into their car with so little space there?"
"Were you in such a hurry that you actually parked in two spaces?"
"I can't believe you drive such a nice car so carelessly."
"How would you feel if someone did this to you?"
Of course, I said none of those things to anyone but myself, and probably wouldn't have said more had the other car's driver been present. Honest mistakes are one thing, of course, but that kind of blatant disregard for others really gets under my skin.
On the flip side, as we were about to depart Atlanta, the flight attendants announced that the boarding door had closed and that we were ready for departure. A young woman sitting directly across from me asked the nearest attendant if she could quickly retrieve something from her bag in the overhead, the overhead that was over MY head! She smiled, apologized and said she would be careful, got her bag down, retrieved what she needed, replaced it, apologized again, and smiled again.
What would I want to say to her? Well, "thank you" was what I actually did say, and when we landed, I happened to stand up in the aisle before she did, so I offered to get her bag down for her. I wish you had seen the smile on her face. Apparently she doesn't know too many gentlemen.
Here's one more, and this is again from my trip. The work group with whom I was in meetings went out for an Atlanta Braves baseball game. There was substantial confusion over where we would have dinner, because the organizers assumed they had purchased tickets that included access to a restaurant, and later found that they did not. So we wound up in a sports bar inside the stadium, overlooking the right field wall. We eventually got standing tables and all of us ordered food and drink. The woman who was our primary server was very patient, as it was extremely crowded AND noisy in that environment.
In any case, I noted several of my coworkers complaining to this server about the length of time it was taking to receive their orders, accuracy issues, etc. This woman never failed to help anyone and did it with a smile on her face.
When it came time for us to leave, I saw her settling the bill with my boss, and she passed me and wished me a nice evening. I stopped her and thanked her for being so patient and courteous to our group. She was genuinely surprised, thanked me, and asked me where I was from. We exchanged a few more pleasantries and went our separate ways.
It wasn't hard. It didn't take long. But sometimes you should say something.
Do you ever think, as I do, about what you would say to people if you encountered them in the right circumstances? And I don't necessarily mean people that we already know, but, rather, strangers that we've had some sort of interaction with.
For instance, I got off my homebound flight last night tired from the day's activities and the cramped conditions of a completely full flight. When I returned to my car in the parking garage, I immediately saw that a car had parked less than six inches from my driver's side door. So, tired as I was, I had to enter my car from the PASSENGER side, climb over the center console and finally put myself into the driver's seat.
What would I say to the offending driver? Here are some of the things that flashed through my mind:
"Are you blind?"
"Could you not see that there was no way for anyone to get into their car with so little space there?"
"Were you in such a hurry that you actually parked in two spaces?"
"I can't believe you drive such a nice car so carelessly."
"How would you feel if someone did this to you?"
Of course, I said none of those things to anyone but myself, and probably wouldn't have said more had the other car's driver been present. Honest mistakes are one thing, of course, but that kind of blatant disregard for others really gets under my skin.
On the flip side, as we were about to depart Atlanta, the flight attendants announced that the boarding door had closed and that we were ready for departure. A young woman sitting directly across from me asked the nearest attendant if she could quickly retrieve something from her bag in the overhead, the overhead that was over MY head! She smiled, apologized and said she would be careful, got her bag down, retrieved what she needed, replaced it, apologized again, and smiled again.
What would I want to say to her? Well, "thank you" was what I actually did say, and when we landed, I happened to stand up in the aisle before she did, so I offered to get her bag down for her. I wish you had seen the smile on her face. Apparently she doesn't know too many gentlemen.
Here's one more, and this is again from my trip. The work group with whom I was in meetings went out for an Atlanta Braves baseball game. There was substantial confusion over where we would have dinner, because the organizers assumed they had purchased tickets that included access to a restaurant, and later found that they did not. So we wound up in a sports bar inside the stadium, overlooking the right field wall. We eventually got standing tables and all of us ordered food and drink. The woman who was our primary server was very patient, as it was extremely crowded AND noisy in that environment.
In any case, I noted several of my coworkers complaining to this server about the length of time it was taking to receive their orders, accuracy issues, etc. This woman never failed to help anyone and did it with a smile on her face.
When it came time for us to leave, I saw her settling the bill with my boss, and she passed me and wished me a nice evening. I stopped her and thanked her for being so patient and courteous to our group. She was genuinely surprised, thanked me, and asked me where I was from. We exchanged a few more pleasantries and went our separate ways.
It wasn't hard. It didn't take long. But sometimes you should say something.
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