The darndest things

Happy Monday, friends.  If ever there was an oxymoron, that's it!

Recently I've been thinking about some of the funny and surprisingly profound things that one or another of my grandchildren has said to me over the years.  There's a lot there, and I've always said that I should "write this down."  So this will have to do.  These are in no particular order, by the way. Bear in mind I have five grandchildren, but the fifth is only five and a half months old!

I took granddaughter #1 (along with her dad) to the movies once, to see "Toy Story 3."  If you're familiar with these movies you know that the ending is very emotional, even for grown-ups.  Toward the end I leaned over and squeezed my granddaughter and told her "don't grow up, sweetie!"  She turned, looked right into my eyes and said, "But I have to, Poppy.  I have to."  That was several years ago, and she's now twelve, soon to be 13.

Recently she texted her mother from school aftercare begging to be picked up early that day.  "What's wrong?" her mother replied.  "I just can't deal."  Oh, boy!  I text occasionally with this one, too, which I'm sure alternately delights and frustrates her.

Her younger brother, grandson #1, recently was credited by our daughter with this commentary about school:  "It's like a prison.  You have to do what they tell you and go where they tell you."  He's eight and is not all that talkative, at least not around us.  This guy sleeps in his clothes, so he's ready for action from the time he awakes.  He may be onto something.

Grandson #2 celebrates his seventh birthday this week, and he's a real comedian.  From the time he could speak, he would gesture broadly, waving his arms, when trying to tell anyone anything, as if to say "you have to listen to me!"  We have him on video at an early age dancing up a storm to the Kook and the Gang classic "Jungle Boogie," right down to the "oohs" and "aahs" in the song.

What I love about this guy is telling him a story, that we both know is completely made up, and having him react with "you did?' or "it was?"  Important to find a good straight man.

I've been telling him since he could remember that I am Batman.  My evidence is that you never see me and Batman in the same place.  As he's gotten older, he simply won't have it.

I've recently been picking him and his sister, granddaughter #2, up at school occasionally.  Once the shock of Poppy picking up at school wore off, the two of them proceeded to reduce me to uncontrollable laughter on the drive to their house or ours.  They sing made-up songs, with no apparent practice, plus they play along with my bad jokes.  There's a line in a song by Talking Heads, "Found a Job," where, in the chorus, the song goes "Judy's in the bathroom" and I coopted that as "Judy" is somewhat similar to this granddaughter's name.  This turned into a running commentary about what she or her brother are doing, set to the same tune.  Harder than you'd think, but, amazingly, both kids join right in.

My wife is out of town right now, looking after her mother.  This gives my brother-in-law and his wife a break, as my MIL lives with them in a basement apartment in their home.  My wife was explaining to the kids that she would be gone and when told why, grandson #1 replied, sincerely, "Is she sick?"  He's met my MIL twice, but was that concerned about her well-being.  When told that, no, she's not sick, she just needs help with things sometimes, he exhibited relief that no one was having a problem.  Sweet little guy.

Granddaughter #2 is similarly sensitive, despite her well-developed sense of humor.  My wife misplaced something of hers not long ago and they found it, but my wife apologized to her.  The response?  "That's OK, Gram, it wasn't your fault."

We had the two older grandkids at the house not long ago for some afterschool fun and dinner and I mentioned spontaneously that I hated something (it was a dish we were having) and granddaughter #2 politely explained to me that "you shouldn't ever say you hate anything."  She's right, of course.

This same granddaughter loves my pancakes.  Particularly with chocolate chips.  Every time we have them for a sleepover, I start the same patter about, hmm, what should we have for breakfast tomorrow, etc.  Invariably, I suggest pancakes with carrots, or waffles with lettuce or somesuch.  I am ALWAYS corrected.

The very best stuff with these two that live nearby was when their mom was expecting their baby sister.  Before we knew the gender, I told them that I had wonderful name suggestions.  If it's a girl, I said, she should be named Esmerelda, and it it's a boy, he should be called Farquahr.  They loved that.  Then when the baby's gender was determined, I kept on with the comments about Baby Esmerelda.  Granddaughter #2 would always scold me with a stern face, proclaiming, "No!  [Baby's actual name]!"

Writing this post proves to me that if I took a few hours, I'd think of more gems, but, like taking pictures of every little thing that they experience, the recording of each special moment takes away from the experience.  And I kind of like being in the moment, particularly since each one is so special.




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