The parent rap

Good morning, friends.  I don't often post on Saturdays, but here goes....

I'm a parent.  Specifically, I'm a stepparent, but my kids know that they are MY kids as well as their mom's.  I have a lot of thoughts about parenting at this stage of life.

First off, I was raised by my parents, two products of the Depression and natives of Huntington, West Virginia.  Neither grew up in privilege and I certainly didn't either.  I'm the middle of three sons in our household, each of my parents was married to another partner prior to their own marriage.  My father had two children in his first marriage, my mother had none.

They did the best they could, I guess, as I grew up in the era of a single breadwinner in the family.  So child-rearing was often left to my mother, as my dad's "job" was to go out into the world and earn the money that we needed to live on.

I don't think I ever fully understood my father.  He had a good mind, but because he was raised by a maiden aunt who let him do pretty much whatever he wanted, he dropped out of high school at the age of 16 and therefore never built his intellect to its full potential.  Never got a GED, never went to college.  So he didn't have much regard for education or self-development.

My mom finished high school, and like most young women, worked at a few different jobs until she met someone and started a family.  But she was a lifelong reader so she broadened her understanding of the world through books, mostly fiction of various types.

I don't think I ever realized what I didn't get from my parents until I was myself a parent, meeting my wife and marrying into her family unit of herself and two kids.  I always helped out with homework, was supportive of whatever activities our kids became involved in, participated in all of the important decisions families face regarding education and the like, and tried to be a good dad.  Without the prior experience of having had one myself.

I'm really proud of my kids for what they've each attempted and accomplished in their lives, both professionally and personally.  They're both better educated than I am, and both are exemplary parents to their children--two for my daughter and three for my son.

There are things I wish had been different for them and my relationship with them, but I get the impression that neither would change anything now.

And I am most pleased that they both came to think of me as their father, as they had a wonderful father who passed away far too early.  I'm not at all like him, from what my wife has always said, but that's probably as it should be.

Anyway, this was something I was thinking about this morning.  I hope that you'll have the opportunity to spend some time with your dad tomorrow on Father's Day, whether in person or virtually (and that counts to us dads, by the way).