New Shoes in the Rain

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Just found the perfect job

Friends, I've had an epiphany.

Recently there's been some news about baseball commissioner Bud Selig and how he's going to step down from this position when his current term expires.  And for you non-baseball fans, the baseball commissioner is appointed by the team owners via a committee.  Selig formerly owned the Milwaukee Brewers, so it's not all that surprising that he was chosen in the first place (originally as interim) and has held the position for so many years.

Anyway, some of the articles I've read lately on this subject were speculating on who should replace the Commissioner.  I saw the names of baseball folks like Joe Torre and Tony LaRussa bandied about, and also noted that Sandy Alderson, who was the general manager for a team, then worked in the commissioner's office for a time, and is again the GM for another team, was mentioned prominently.  Sportscaster and baseball purist Bob Costas was also mentioned.  And one of the more surprising names I saw was that of former President George W. Bush, who was the managing partner of the Texas Rangers for several years before entering politics.

But I think I have the perfect candidate to

That's right, I would like to nominate myself to be the next Commissioner of Major League Baseball.  So I respectfully present these qualifications:

I have successful business management experience, giving me the advantage in dealing with labor relations issues that so often come up in MLB.

I have the maturity to make decisions thoughtfully, but the youth to move as quickly as situations allow.

I have fully embraced modern technology, as evidenced by this blog and my other presences online.

I LOVE baseball and would do anything within my power to ensure that it remains the national pastime (sorry, NFL, you're an industry, albeit a very popular one).

I have a great sense of fair play and would deal appropriately with rogue owners like Jeffrey Loria, who has bait-and-switched the baseball fans of south Florida repeatedly by building and selling off successful teams.

So there are some of my credentials.  When the powers that be are ready to start the process, I am, too.  Just like Bud Selig, I'd like to continue living in my home area, but I'll gladly go to New York and spend time in the MLB offices there as frequently as necessary.  Yes, I'd do that for the grand old game.

And I could bore you with a long list of what I would do once I became the Commish, but here's a quick rundown:

No more designated hitter anywhere in baseball.  The pitcher bats.  Period.

MLB TV would no longer black out any games or teams that don't qualify as "out of market."  If that policy weren't in existence, I might have cut off cable by now.

Shorten the calendar of the season slightly by making every team play at least three Sunday doubleheaders.  That way the Fall Classic (also known as the World Series) would be played before Fall is over.

Institute revenue sharing among all teams.  While that may seem a little unfair to the big market teams who can command $200 million or more per season for its TV and radio rights, it would level the playing field for the teams in such places as Cincinnati and Minnesota, where TV rights aren't so outrageously expensive.

That's a good start, I think.  So I hope you support my candidacy for the best job I could ever have!


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